Since August 18,2005
:::::::...who waits forever anyway?...
.music lover. reality show addict. everyday blogger. bookworm. moody. antipatiko. superstar-wannabe. survivor addict. sometimes funny. dreamer of hopeless dreams. jerk. semi-sensitive. semi-claustrophobic. insecure. perfectionist. typo and grammatical error king.artist. fighter. twisted. complicated.
.: What Dey Think :.
"...kulot, no doubt. yun yung sobrang mapapansin mo agad sa kanya. tapos matangkad mashado and maputi...madalas mapapansin mo din na magaling shang sumayaw..." - PAUEE
"...may lahi daw xang european sa side ng mama nya...this guy is a music-lover..." - GERALDINE
"...si kel ay masayahing tao..." - MARK A.
"...minsan maypagka-weirdo... ewan ko ba... hehe, kalog yang kasama..."- JO-ANNE
"misteryoso, npakamsyahin.. prang bata!! asteeg! prang clown??!..."- WJOEMARK
"...ung pagiging honest nia..certified un..."- LENNY
"...Its really hard not to notice this guy coz he just simply stands out, literally... Hehehe... And of course, who could forget his wanopakind hair? Hehe. Pero totoo, mabait tlga to... Madaling pakisamahan... Parating game... Kahit malungkot, masaya parin... Weirdo minsan... Paranoid... Hehehe... Multi- talented rn to..."- NIKKI
"...siya ay maputi kaya ung gurl na gusto nya ay... bubbly...medyo moody - minsan super bait nyan tapos minsan taray taray. maarte yan sa food pag minsan...at men, di siya marunong kumain ng isda ng maayos...daming tira, sayang tuloy..."- HANI
"...ndi nu cia makikitang naggagala ng walang bag kahit pa hassle ang dating sa porma niya ay walang cia keber.. "- EINSTEINIANZ
"...kala ko ay unsociable tong taong to pero hindi pala.. astig nga eh.. ang bait! kahit anong pagloloko ang ginagawa ng mga kaibigan namin sa kanya ay ok lang kay kel.. lupet!..."- RC
"...hehe mahilig rin 2 magbsa ng mga libro.. kaso barat 2 i swear.. nde ka makakahirit d2..."- JEREMY
"make way for the "Walking Jollibee" este King Michael... ehhE..."- APRIL
"masaya kausap pag seryoso ang lahat..kabaligtaran kapag may topak sya..sobrang pilosopo..hehehehehehe.."- RIC
"wag mo lang awayin dahil....nakakatakot yan (kahit hindi) :P baka magwala...hehe..:P"- RONALD
"pasakit sya sa buhay... lagi akong inaasar at madrama pa pala"- LAURICE
"sila ni oliver, kapag malungkot ako... sila yung unang nakakapansin"- RANDY
"gwapo siya... tapos laging nakangiti"- RAYNE
"makulit... unang babati pag tumatambay ako"- DARWIN
.: More About Me :.
Take My Friends' Quiz! Sige na! ^^;
-.-; Let's be Friendster! -.-;
KEL
::Livejournal Account: SOATM 2::
jaidroujen@yahoo.com
yahoo id
jaidroujen
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minsan dahil sa kakulangan natin ng kaalaman sa mga bagay bagay sa paligid ay nakakagawa tayo ng desisyon na di natin ikatutuwa pagkatapos na natin itong magawa...
pero ganun talaga.
minsan nadadala tayo ng emosyon at mga bagay na nakakapagpabigla sa atin.
owel, ganun naman talaga eh...
-=-=-=-=-=-
hay... andami pa talagang gagawin.
isang linggo o dalawa pa...
torture.
sabog pa rin talaga ako.
tsk.
pero kaya ko ito.
kinaya ko na dati.. dapat kayanin ko rin ngayon...
hayyyy....
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
masaya naman ako kahit paano ngayon.
masaya talagang makipagkwentuhan sa mga taong alam mong palagay ang loob mo.
kahit may dapat na gawin, mas masarap pa rin maglabas ng saloobin.
nakakamiss eh...
parang ang dami ko ng di alam..
pero masaya na ulit ngayon.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
katatapos lang ng eleksyon sa circuit...
ayun.. ayos naman.
nanalo ako as 03 and beyond rep. masaya naman :)
maraming nagtiwala.. kati may isang abstain.
sana magampanaan ko yung trabaho ko ng mabuti...
salamat sa mga sumuporta!
congrats sa mga nanalo!
sa execom at sa mga reps na tulad ko!
at be sure.. gagawin ng r.e.p.s. ang trabaho namin sa lahat ng aming makakaya.. :)
maraming salamat ulit!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
ang ingay ngayon sa yakal.. kamusta namn ang pagtulog ko di ba?
tsk.
pwede na rin to siguro.. para mapilit ako mag-aral. :p
i'm so tired and so sick of stuff.
nakakapagod na...
two weeks left..
two weeks PA!
two weeks of torture..
but this week is the peak.
i hate this sem.
i lost control of everything and now all is so freaking vague
even i, am vague. and unstable.
stress is catching up on me.
this might be my most stressful week yet.
just wait before i breakdown.. i know it is soon.
stress plus this little voice telling me hat i am so alone is just making me lose myself even more.
-sigh-
i want a break from everything.
i want out.
pardon for the rant.
At the end of the day, there are some things you just can't help but talk about. Some things we just don't want to hear, and some things we say because we can't be silent any longer. Some things are more than what you say, they're what you do. Some things you say cause there's no other choice. Some things you keep to yourself. And not too often, but every now and
then, some things simply speak for themselves.
right now, i feel so dependent on people.
especially my friends.
now that i'm troubled with some things that are messing up my life right now...
i'm happy that i have some people i can lean on...
those who i know care for me and not just 'superficially' there for me.
though sometimes people disappoint me...
i tend to reason out to myself that people are just that way.
things can't be okay at all times.
there are some things i can't control.
the way people treat me. the way i treat people.
well, maybe the last one i can control, but still...
sometimes i act based on how other people act around me.
at this moment, i'm still a bit depressed.
but i know i'll be okay... i'm slowly accepting the things that needs to be accepted..
though i'm still bitter.. hopefully i would have the push to move forward.
with so much stuff that i need to do.. i really need a push.
-sigh-
but still...
thanks friends! :)
thanks for being there for me! :D
At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, it's usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them. The people that are still with you at the end of the day, those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need.
-Grey's Anatomy
sige.. maging masaya na lang kahit hindi talaga ganun.
superficial happiness?
tsk.
learn to accept. learn to let go.
don't expect.
let things happen.
can somebody just slap and wake me up?
i would definitely be grateful.
ok?
right now... i'm feeling so low.
i've done something yesterday that i haven't done before... and i did it due to depression.
tsk.
it's not that bad but it is just so not me.
i don't know what else to think
right now, i know what i'll do.
i'd like to think that things happen for certain reasons
and everything is according to His plan.
i would just take this burden i'm carrying and make it as a stepping stone.
and also, i can't change what is meant to be.
if that's really what will happen... i'll accept it.
but right now.. i' m still at the process of accepting it.
it's hard but i know sooner, i must accept it.
and maybe... since it's still a long time before it happens, i can do something about it.
i might be able to change it.
it would be hard but it's worth a shot...
and if not, everything that i've work hard for for the past two years would all be lost.
but then again... maybe some good things still wait for me.
what i need right now is the motivation again to finish what i've started.
my morale is low and i want to find something to boost it.
the next few weeks is crucial... the sem is ending and requirements can't be ignored.
oh well...
must get up. tsk.
i need to be happy.
and move forward...
ayokong ipilit ang sarili ko sa taong ayaw sa akin.
pakshet.
i got the much needed break this weekend.
it's nice to spend some time away from the toxicity of UP. tsk.
it was a happy experience celebrating lianne's birthday :)
so much bonding, videoke-ing, and eating. all's well. i think.
see some of the pics in jaymie's multiply. it's not much but it's something ^^;
i would have written a long entry if not for this headache that i have.
and also i'm quite poofed caused i wrote a rather long one in the dark. so there.
now.. i'm back in UP.
back to reality.
back to the toxicity.
oh well.
two-three weeks left in this sem.
ugh.
i shudder to think of the mountain of requirements and exam the final weeks will bring.
need i say more?
this is not enough.
it's time to have something where there'll be no inhibitions.
toxic's gone... it's time to be dark.
but i'll still be here...
for the past days, it seems that i have been connecting more to other people.
and i'm glad that it's that way.
otherwise, i think i would again sulk and be bitter about everything.
it's nice to get to know more and more people...
corny as it may sound, it's like living the life i had before once again.
well, i think this is what i really needed the past few months.
somewhere along the way.. i kinda forgot that i also exist for people other than myself.
not that i am selfish or anything.
it's just that... hmm... it seems that before, though i talk to people, i'm really an introvert.
but now... i go out more and that's just great ^^;
am i making any sense?
oh well.
uhm.. i'm just plain happy. :)
though last night, i was saddened by a news that i got, today... i finally accepted it.
things happen for certain reasons.
and besides... when one leaves you, someone will take her place.
and maybe that new one would be a lot better...
and right now... that's what i'm thinking... maybe she's better and i think she is. ^^;
i'm happy right now with how things are going.
it's okay for me if it stays this way for a long time.
as long as i'm happy, as long as she's happy.
it's okay.
and i'll leave it that way...
right now, i feel so numb.
i don't want to feel anymore.
because feeling and caring just equates to pain.
i don't know.
sometimes... i just want to let go of everything.
but i can't.
i just can't.
-sigh-
i think too much.
i feel too much.
and though i know i'm in control...
sometimes it just gets out of my hand.
and that's just me.
it's been so long... i thought i'm used to this by now...
matatapos na ang school year.
seriously kinakabahan na ako.
nagapapile up na lahat ng requirements.
sabay-sabay. di ko na alam kung ano yung uunahin.
minsan ansaklap ng mga nangyayari eh.
last week dapat ang bagsak ng mga requirements
pero hindi yun nangyari eh... parang joke na namove ang karamihan nila next week.
ahay... apat ang requirements na yu nna namove.
so parang this coming week is a repeat of last week, na compressed lang in 3 days.
oh no.
kaya eto... simula na naman ng paggawa.
gudlak na lang sa akin.
tsk.
gusto ko ng matapos ang sem na ito.
seriously.
nobody can deny my happiness today.
-sigh-
i wish it's always like this.
but of course... it can't always be like this.
how i wish this day never ended.
oh well.
^_^:
squEEEze tomorrow.
i don't know...
but one thing is for sure...
i'll be happy.
for the simple reason that... (^_^);
wow... a particularly good day ^^;
i only had one class today, coe121 and i spent the rest of my 'free' time doing productive stuff.
-=-=-=-=-=
i would say that campaigning for election is no joke. i mean, it's hard going to and fro, here and there and after running and losing breath, yo ustill have to look composed and speak in front of some unknown people.
it takes too much time and energy. i can see it it my friends who are running for position that they are exhausted... it's jsut hard.
but of course, if you want something, you have to work for it.. and that's just what they are doing. after all, in the end, i know that it would be fruitful for them.
i'm just happy that i have helped them in some way and i have my practiced my pcm-ness though only two days are left for the campaign.
hmm.. it's a good thing that i didn't run for any engineering wide position since i would really not be able to handle the campaign... this is an acad hell week again for me and i'm just no good in speaking in front of people. you see, just giving some pins and flyers makes me shy, what more if i speak in front of a crowd? tsk. the third-year-zonal-speech trauma has atttacked once again.
oh well... at least i''ve experienced campaigning though i'm only a pcm :)
is tomorrow the last day of campaign? haha... i don't know. anyway, gudluck to all my friends who are running. you're nearing the homestretch...
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
i've been working on the tempo adjuster for our coe121 project. i have already studied the phase vocoder algorithm that we will use and i already have the program and i tried to run it. it's already a progress but what we need tomorrow is the working tempo adjuster module. however, it's still not working fine since when the tempo is adjusted, it seems that the sound is also clipped. i still can't figure out the problem but i've downloaded some stuff a while ago and i'll study it later to finally fix the bug.
it would be the first phase of our project and in the next phase, the pitch adjustment, it would be my other groupmates turn to do it. but right now, its all me... and it's okay. next week, would be a break for me hehe.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
and of course, squeeeze is just two days away and you can feel that squeeeze is in the air.
so many peopel are busy especially the pubcom people. i stayed late in the tambayan to help in making the panel board which i think looked great. ^^; it's so nice to do this publicity work... uhm.. much better than doing documentation, i think. hehe. the new batch of pubcom members are really talented and it's also nice to see other people working though they are not part of the committee... wll, that includes me hehe. since i'm, as what they call it, a 'pubpuban' or a pesudo-pubcom member haha. oh well, many people know that doing pub stuff is what i like to do, even if i am in memcom, i'm the one doing the posters and stuff. i jsut like doing it. :D. anyway, hopefully, next year... i would be a certified pubcom member... ^^;
oh yeah, squeeeze dance presentation si still not yet done... what's new? i remember last year when i was the one heading the dance presentation, it was also crammed... i think. oh yeah, it was not 'that crammed... we practiced for less than four days haha. oh well, i think they can pull it.. go indacktors! ^^;
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
and the thing that made me happier today is that...
uhm.. if i write it here, it would be too obvious.
let's just say that i'm happy with how things are going... hopefully it would continue.
seriously, it just feels weird again.
gaahh... i badly want to write in here everything ,but i just can't... not now. not this time.
-sigh-
i can't believe i'm feeling this... but i'm not complaining. ^^;
for those who know, you know why i'm this happy... :D
life is good.
hmmm... i wrote this one before valentines day for our notebook.
but i never got the chance to write it down in the notebook. tsk.
pardon for the cheesiness :)
masarap maramdaman ulit ang ganitong pakiramdam. matagal tagal na ring panahon na di ako nakadama ng ganito. masaya pala. nalimutan ko na kasi yata eh. parang masyado akong naging busy sa mga bagay kaya naipagwalang bahala ko ang bagay na ito. well.. sabihin na natin na inalis ko rin kasi sa isip ko kasi alam ko nakakagulo lang. sakit ng ulo. dagdag problema. pero ewan... naghahanap ako pero nung naisipan kong tumigil at hayaan na lang. ayun, dumating nga. ewan ko ba. ganun yata talaga ang pagkakataon, kung kailan di mo iniisip ang isang bagay, saka siya ibibigay sa iyo.
haha.. alam ko na wala lang to. parang dati... di seryoso. pero ewan ko na rin ha, malay natin... dati ko pa naman kasi siyang gusto. noon pa. seryoso. pero hindi ganun kaigting, siguro kasi................................... pero ngayon... ngayong nalaman ko na rin ang .................................... biglaan na lang eh. natutuwa ako ngayon kasi nakakausap ko na siya ng madalas. di tulad ng dati, yun bang parang hi at hello lang. pero ngayon.. iba. wala lang. ............................. di na ako naiilang na baka ................................. bigla. masarap ang pakiramdam. hay... ewan. para na namang akong bata sa nararamdaman ko pero ganun talaga. masarap ang feeling. alam kong kumplikado pa rin ang sitwasyon: sitwasyon ko at sitwasyon niya.. pero still.. masaya pa rin kasi nakakausap ko siya. di ko alam kung saan ako dadalhin nito... sabi nga sa akin ng isang tao, baka matulad ako sa kanya.. pero ewan ko rin ha. iba naman ako. pero ano nga ba yung iba? ano bang alam ko? ano bang di nagbabago? paano... paano kung matulad ako? wala namang masama. ayos naman siguro ako sa kanya... pero ewan. bahala na siguro. basta ngayon alam ko masaya ako na nakakausap ko siya. sakto magvavalentines pa naman :)
i intentionally omitted some parts. for security/secrecy purposes haha.
err.. right now.
i don't know what to feel.
i'm happy today since... uh... something happened.
though that was cut short because of something that happened and something ihave seen.
this is not good.
i never intended to be affected this way but it just sort of happens.
-sigh-
so much for control huh?
is this really it?
oh no.
update update.
sobrang hectic at busy ng buhay kaya walang panahon para magblog. hehe.
balitaan ko lang kayo ng mga nangyari, especially sa exams at requirements:
tapos na ang chargeeeng up, thankfully maayos naman yung kinalabasan. congrats noel!
sabog ang eee51... ayoko na isipin to. wala rin namang mangyayari. tsk. plakda na ako dito.
ayos lang naman ang panpil17 na exam... walang problema. papasa ako dun.
sabog rin ang coe131 exam. tsk. grabe, sayang talaga... dami kong nakalimutan eh.
di ako nakapagpasa ng labrep sa 52.. eh kasi naman walang panahon gumawa. hay...
buti na lang magaling kami kanina sa 52 tapos na agad. sa lab.
campaign period na rin ngayon at pcm kami ni jade ni laurice. ayun, basata babawi ako sa thursday at friday.
namove yung exam ng eee105 next week! yehey!
progress report na naman sa coe131 bukas... huhuhu talaga.
demo rin pala ng SHARC sa dsp bukas... gudlak na lang sa akin.
presentation pa para sa squeeeze at the gathering.. ahahay.
docu requirements pa sa panpil17...
tapos kelangan na namin ng deliverable na 'tempo adjuster' sa coe121... kelangan na gumawa!
tapos squeeeze at the gathering.
ah oo nga pala.
pakshet.
nasira yung isa kong phone tapos pati globe sim ko nasira ngayon lang gabi.
tsk.
so ibig nitong sabihin, kelangan ko bumili ng bagong sim... wahhh. gastos na naman ah.
owel... anlungkot.
pero masaya na rin kasi sobrang masaya ngayong araw... :)
di lang dahil sa 'kanya' kundi andami ko ring nakitang tao ngayon at nakausap... masaya lang :D
owel... may iniisip akong gawin. para naman kahit paano maiayos ko buhay ko... hehe
tsaka i think kelangan ko na rin yun... i need direction eh. kaya ayun, baka next week i'll decide...
hay... sana dati ko pa to ginawa.
owel...
.: TODAY'S HITS :.
recent sounds
~_~; V2
Still Hanging
Ngiti
Knock Out
Ah Ganun?!
Take A Break, Take A Trip
Rise Of The Dark Kemikulz
Connect
Supreme
.: BACKTRACK :.
sounds of the twisted past
March 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
.: Special Sounds :.
Welcome to My Life
The Dumpsite Experience
Digital Soundtrip
Real Sounds of a Twisted Mind
.: Play That Song :.
Version 2.0 - Ric's Zen Micro Edition
.: Blast From The Past :.
Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4
Episode 5
Episode 6
Episode 7
Episode 8
Episode 9
Episode 10
Episode 11
Episode 12
.: Album Reviews :.
Breakaway - Kelly Clarkson
The Showstoppers - American Idol 4
.:Playlist:.
WHO WANTS TO LIVE FOREVER - Breaking Benjamin
OVER MY HEAD - The Fray
I DARE YOU - Shinedown
SEXYBACK - Justin TImberlake
WHAT I WANTED - Nelly Furtado
LIFE IS A HIGHWAY - Rascal Flatts
GALLERY - MArio Vasquez
AFTERGLOW - Inxs
WON'T LET YOU FALL -Fergie
WHO KNEW -Pink
MOODY'S MOOD FOR LOVE - Elliott Yamin
MY DESTINY - Katharine McPhee
.:Listening To:.
RASCAL FLATTS
THE FRAY
.:What's In The Player?:.
-CURRENTLY SUSPENDED-
Click on the link below to see what songs are currently in my mp3 player. If you want a certain mp3 from my playlist, just give me a buzz and who knows? if you're nice enough, i might just give you what you want ^^;
My MP3 Player Playlist
Updated: January 13, 2006
.: Twisted Shadows :.
|KEL::Sounds of a Twisted Mind::|
|KEL::Sounds of a Twisted Mind LJ Account::|
|CHRISSIE::Me Write Pretty One Day::|
|NIKKI::Nyx of Time::|
|RISHA::Natsu No Yume::|
|FIL::The Daily Inquibbler::|
|TIPZ::One Winged Angel::|
|RANDY::Randy::|
|PAUEE::Restless::|
|BANANIE::Gone Bananas::|
|RR:Last Stick of Air::|
|DANES::Crichton Fan::|
|MARTIN::Owarinai Yume::|
|SHEM::Haiahmehs::|
|OLIVER::Bumblejumper::|
|RAYMUND::Just Wandering::|
|KAREEN::Ngrksz..For More::|
|MARELLA::Mustard Seed::|
|OLGA::Oxienne::|
|KIKO::The Frustrated Musician::|
|PEDRO::The Sick Sad World::|
|TIN::Slivers of Thought::|
|TARA::Infinite Possibilities,and All I Do is Whine::|
|CHONA::The Ground Beneath My Feet::|
|VINGAYE::Valley of Shadows::|
|SARJ::I'll Paint The World Pink::|
|LAURICE::Nakikiuso::|
|HANI::Dead Stars [the x-files]::|
|LINE::Random Thoughts from a Brilliant Mind::|
|JOSIAH::Kamandag Ng Barakuda::|
|MAY::May's Blog::|
|DYAN::My New Abode::|
|ELMA<::These Are My Stories::|
|SCION::The Scion Of Our Times::|
|NINO::Photographs and Memories::|
|JOE A.::Bukomoto::|
|CL::Whoisclcastro::|
|JOPA::Gitara::|
|DAVID::Merkuryo::|
|JAYMIE>::I Am Jaymie::|
|EBY::I Am Eby::|
|DARYL::Promise Friends Forver::|
|KATE::Lost In Stellar Space::|
|DAX::Chameleon14::|
|FRANZ::Life As Franz Sees It::|
|LABELLE::My Blog::|
|DIANE JOYCE::Maurizia::|
|ZCHARMAINE::I Smell Something FISHY::|
|CHAI::Raccoonissa::|
|AVI::Blah Blah::|
|NORMAN::These are My Stories::|
|KALVIN::Kawawang Bata::|
|AGNES::The Baboysai Brain::|
|DOODS::Nakakapagpabagabag::|
|Survivor Sucks!|
|Reality News Online|
|UP Circuit Boards|
|Esep Barkada|
|The Digital Pinoy|
|Mugglenet|
|The Leaky Cauldron|
|Tristan Cafe: Online Music|
|Pinoy Exchange|
|Musicallypso|
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|Survivor Philippines Yahoo Group|
|Foxes on Idol|
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